I Finally Cried a Bit Today

This will (not) be short, and there will be much more on this topic, but I finally broke down, admitted this whole situation sucks and is a bunch of bullshit, and had a bit of a cry today. Honestly, I think Mom was relieved a bit, and I am relieved a bit, and like usual my Dad didn’t know what to do with two grown, crying women other than to placate us with milk and cookies with a healthy side of Dad jokes, it was quite heartwarming.

What precipitated this is the final realization that I need to sell my current home, ASAP, and I think they came to it too. Although I am progressing, and making good gains in my IDL’s (Independent Daily Living activities), fact is I don’t know, and the therapists don’t know if I will EVER be able to function as a single independent adult in my current place like I was before. It just isn’t set up that way as a 1970’s condo. No real handicapped parking, no first floor accessible bath, non-accessible doorways, too many stairs, laundry in probably the most inaccessible corner possible and the list goes on.

To that end, I have been casually putting feelers out there/google searching about what my options actually are. Real Estate is a giant BITCH right now. Sure yeah, I can turn around and sell my current home for a really good price right now, and have a decent down payment if I choose not to go through other routes, but comfortably, as a single income person, my max budget is about 300K. Just try finding ANYTHING that is one level living, reasonably redone, with a first floor master and a walk in shower for that price. Oh, and I would like Snow Removal and Landscaping as well. IT LITERALLY DOESN’T EXIST at least in existing housing stock. It has one of the following issues- 1. It is still the cheap builder’s grade stuff it started with 20+ years ago and has 20 years of wear on it, bad carpet, and a giant soaking tub that I CANNOT use. 2. It is 20 years old, nicely redone but like 400K+ 3. Doesn’t have Snow/Grass so I have to figure that into my budget and that makes it too much for me or 4. Needs so much work that I would need to budget for and gut the whole thing and wind up at 300K anyway.

So, like so many others, I guess my only option then is to build! Well, that would be good if I could again find something in my price range. My parent’s neighborhood, which was quite reasonable 6 years ago when they built, is now starting at 350K before any upgrades, and my parents put 90k of upgrades in from base price at that time, so big giant nope. There are more economical builders and neighborhoods, but they get really far from my work, home, side gig triangle I like to keep. I want to be close to my parents, but not on top of and also be reasonably close to my sister and her husband.

That leads me to why I cried today. I know I need to leave my current home, but I feel stuck because I cannot afford or have the money ready to go to start building. To save the money I need, I need to sell my place, and while I love my parents, it looks like I am going to be staying here an extended amount of time, which quite frankly, sucks. I honestly at this point don’t know how long I am going to be here, and again like always, I am so grateful they have space for me and that I have my own private space while in their home, but I can’t deny that this doesn’t all suck a TON. It just became all too much for me tonight and I started bawling my eyes out.

I don’t know what I can do, does anyone have an extra 5k-10k laying around (not serious but serious)?

More later.

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